This is it | THE WORLD OF BRIAN SMITH www.twobs.com

The Story of My Bullshit 2 Weeks

(the following is a true story, it is... i wish it werent.)

or The 10 days I lost forever.

(Without further adieu I present to you a true story in which the man stole my time)

I got "HAD" my friends. Totally "Had".

So two weeks ago on Monday I go out looking for jobs cause I am broke as a joke and starting to scrape at the bottom of my soon to be fictitious barrel. I go out and get a paper and come home. I see an ad in the paper that reads as follows:

General OPENINGS
$385-$410 per/wk
Per company agreement.
Growing Company needs
77 People to fill immediate openings
NO STRIKES, NO LAYOFFS
Permanent full time work. Expanding distribution center for larger 90 year old company has openings in every department from display to management. You can do our work easily. No experience necessary as we will provide training, can lead to a very secure position with high starting income.
For interview call 989-773-XXXX
From 9am-6pm

So I think to myself, Okay. I'll give it a call and see what it's about.

I call and say something along the lines of, "I'm calling about the ad in the paper". Immediately they tell me they have times available tomorrow for interviews. I say, "Ummm Okay, what is this job?” The guy on the other end says that they have openings for several positions ranging from customer service to management. I say okay and set a time for the next day.

I wake up and put on my nice clothes and tie and go in for my 1 o'clock interview. I fill out my application and talk to this girl Katie for what was about 15 minutes. She tells me that she is interviewing 30 people today and to call back around 6 to find out if I have been one of the few chosen for the job. All that she says about the job is that it is a customer service position to begin with and that you can easily be promoted to management positions. She says something quickly along the lines of trying to get people away from steam cleaning their carpets because they have a better way of doing it. I think to myself, Okay I don't know exactly what that means but hey it doesn't sound that hard. And that’s about all she said. I handed her my application and gave her a resume that also highlights my past experiences and stuff. (She probably wasn't used to getting resumes). So ok.

I call around 6 half expecting to not be selected for whatever reason. She goes, "You have been selected, training is Wednesday through Friday from 12pm to 3pm". I say okay, thank you and I'll see you tomorrow. At this point I still have no idea what I am really getting into. I call my parents to let them know that I finally got a job, but that I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but that I would soon find out. At this point if I knew the rest of the story I would have ran and never come back. But unfortunately this is a long story and it doesn’t end that quickly. I woke up the next day and got ready for training.

I show up to the same office around Noon and walk into the training room. I was told at the time of my interview that she would be selecting anywhere between 5 to 10 people. I go into the room and there are 6 other guys sitting in chairs around the room. All ages, all types of people. I say hello and sit down and get ready to find out the deal. Katie comes in and shuts the door and I soon find out the first layer of truth to what it is I am about to get myself into. There's the Kirby. Yes folks, I am about to be told that I will be showing the new Ultimate G Diamond edition of the Kirby Vacuum cleaner to people. Wow, this is news to me. She runs through basic policies and benefits of the job stating that you have to do 12 demos a week to earn a base pay of $300. If you sell a certain number of Kirbys a month you can earn these fantastic all expenses paid trips to Mexico, the Bahahamas, Hawaii, etc etc and that she has been to all sorts of places. You can be entered into drawings to win Cars, Jet skis, Kirbys, etc.. Yadda yadda yadda. There are meetings at 9am every morning and you just have to do a couple shows a day and you get the base pay and that the national average is that out of every 3 or 4 shows you will sell 1 Vacuum cleaner. Her job is basically to recruit new people and sell them on the sole fact that just by putting on these shows, the product will sell itself. I think to myself, hmmm okay. There is some potential in this. I could give it a try. If I am good at it I could earn some money. I don’t know if I am any good at it, I have never tried. After 12 sales of earning 10% of the price you can earn substantially more for each sale and yes if I am any good at it the potential is there. She pops in this 10-minute video with these guys talking about all their extravagant lifestyles and shit like that. A couple red flags go off now that I know sort of what I am getting into but I don't have many other options so I should at least see it through.

Fast forward to Thursday. 7 people started the training and now 5 remain. 2 disappear. I take a lot of notes. I find out that I am supposed to do 8-practice demos over the weekend for friends and family. The only problem with that is, quite simply, I don't even know 8 people in Michigan. I mention that I don't know anyone since I am from NY and Katie says to get as many practice demos in as I can. She would be happy with 4. We go through the script and she takes us through other areas of the actual demonstration. We practice. It's not that tricky. I go home and finagle how to get my practice demos in because she wants us to bring names and numbers back with us the next day. I instant message my friend Ben who lives in Midland and work out a time with him on Saturday for me to practice my little show. I email my buddy Darren who I had been talking to over email and aim and TCW but hadn't yet crossed paths with to see if he could give me a few minutes to do the demonstration with. I talk to Sara on the phone (who was up North trapping) and work it out so that I can give her a show on Friday and then later on Friday give her field partner Lynnea a show. Darren responds and low and behold it turns out that he did the Kirby gig 3 years ago. I end up going over to his house that night and hanging out for a little bit. Cool dude. He jokes that I can come over and get the stain out of his mom's carpet. He gives me a short lowdown of the job but I try to remain optimistic. I have to at least try it I say to him. I drive home and realize that this job will be kind of like acting and I have always wanted to act so perhaps I can think of this as sort of like an acting gig.

Friday rolls around and I show up for training. 3 remain. 2 more disappear. Okay. So we run through the rest of the demonstration of the show and we learn how to use the carpet shampoo system. It's all pretty easy and the Kirby Vacuum is a good product. The motto is "Put on the Shows and the Sales will come". Okay. We sign paper work to make us official Independent Kirby Dealers and that's that. I leave with a Kirby and am ready for my weekend practice shows. I drive up to see Sara in Wellston (west of Cadillac) and give her a practice show. The Field House they are staying in is nasty and I clean her carpet. She likes it. I call in my show. Katie says to ask her the following, "if we could make it affordable is it something you would like to own?"... I laugh to myself thinking man she has no idea how poor we are. They never talk to each other. We go out to eat and have some burgers with Lynnea. I'm supposed to do these practice shows between 9 and 9 so by the time we get back to the field house its 8:30. I call in my show. Katie goes, "do you know it's 8:30?"... I say, "umm yeah". So anyway, I give Lynnea the show and she likes it of course cause it's a good product... but ya know... I call it in. Katie talks to her and tries to sell it to her. Come on. Of course she is not going to buy it, I did not try to sell it to her because I knew that none of us could afford such a thing. As I did these practice shows I followed the script/practice sheet.

I wake up Saturday and headed back to Mount Pleasant. The roads were really snowy and I drove the 91 miles slowly. I got back to town and went over to the barbershop. I tell the nice lady about my new opportunity and she wishes me best of luck. I get my hairs chopped a little too short but I move on. I go buy a nice folder to keep my documents in at Staples and also an expense notebook to track that sort of thing. I buy some extra supplies like baking soda and paper towels. Like I said with the roads, they were crappy, but I still drive over to Midland to see Ben. I meet his nice kitty 'Sugar' and give him the demonstration. Again Katie tries to sell it to him over the phone and all he has to say is, "That was very interesting. It was a nice product. That was very interesting". I laugh. No offense to Ben, but he is living the bachelor life and has very little interest in spending 1800 dollars on a vacuum cleaner let alone spending 50 dollars to replace something he already has. I drive over to Sanford to see Darren and take that stain out of his mom's carpet. Success with that and after a very relax demo I call it in. Darren remembers Katie from his days back at the shop and asks what some of the other people he worked with are up to. I over hear him mentioning something to the effect of they would be lucky to keep me for three weeks. I have completed my practice shows for the weekend.

On Sunday I didn't even want to look at that thing. I had a football game to think about and after getting home at 3:30am from the night before I didn't have much time before the games and afterwards wanted sleep. I did bust it out for a few minutes to play around with. I wish I spent more time cleaning our apartment, but whatever. I'm still skeptical especially after Darren gave me a little bit more information the night before. I told him I had to remain optimistic cause that's the only way I would be able to give it an honest try. So I think to myself, this isn't that hard. They supposedly will have the appointments all lined up. I just have to figure out how to do solid transitions from each part of the show to another and my shows will be solid. It's something new. Basically I am convincing myself to stick through and at least give it a try. So I do.

I show up on Monday at 9 AM and low and behold the other 2 dudes that left Friday's training when I did both quit right then and there. 1 remains. 1 lucky soul. 1 innocent bystander. Hahaha. I can't help but laugh at myself. This one real nice guy looks at me and basically says that there is no way he can live with the uncertainty the job carries and I tell him I agree but have to at least give it a try. Meanwhile Kenley appears and takes a look inside my Kirby box. I guess I was supposed to clean the brush. Okay. So I do that. A few other people show up and say hello to me. Next thing I know the meeting is about to begin. There are about 10 people. They shut the doors.

Next thing I know, everyone is standing, the music begins and people are clapping and singing along. The Kirby Song begins…

Hail Hail the Gang's All Here.
Do We Sell The Kirby?
Yes We Sell The Kirby!
Hail Hail the Gang's All Here.
Do We Sell The Kirby?
Yes We Sell The Kirby!

Kirby Will Shine Tonight.
Kirby Will Shine.
Kirby Will Shine Tonight.
Won't That Be Fine.
Sun Goes Down.
Moon Goes Up.
Kirby Will Shine.

I've Got That Kirby Feeling
Down In My Feet
Down In My Feet
Down In My Feet
I've Got That Kirby Feeling
Up In My Head
Up In My Head
Up In My Head
I've Got That Kirby Feeling
Here In My Heart
Here In My Heart
Here In My Heart
I've Got That Kirby Feeling
All Around Me
All Around Me
All Around Me

I've Got That Kirby Feeling
Down In My Feet
Up In My Head
Here In My Heart

How are you feeling today?? POSITIVE.

Keep in my mind that there are hand gestures for Down, Up, Feet, Head, Heart, and All Around Me. I swear to you I think I am in crazy land. Darren was very nice in warning me about this experience including the song. I had been given plenty of opportunities to run before this point but none other than this could be so bold and bright. Did I run? No. Come on. The story has lots of leg left. I'm not the kind of person who quits things. I don't do that. I'd rather at least get a full grasp of the opportunity that has been presented to me before running. Remember. There is a potential to make good money and I don't have anything else to fall back on. I am told that for the day I will be going out with David on his appointments and that each show will count towards my credits. I need 12 to get paid. Internal countdown begins.

We roll into Alma. We meet a very nice mom and son. Sarah and Aaron. David gives a really good show and I learn a lot about the transitions and other verbiage that is used. I jot a lot of notes down and other key facts that I find interesting and can use later. I liked his approach but when I was watching him I was thinking to myself, "what a salesmen". Here is this nice older lady and her son who are under the impression that someone is coming to clean their carpet for free (right, what is free?) and now here we are to try and sell them this vacuum cleaner. Aaron really likes it but they just can't afford to make a snap decision on this machine without talking to the rest of the family. They recently had some other expenses that have to be taken care of first. So we do what is called a "plant" by leaving it there because they have expressed obvious interest but have to talk to other family members first. We plan to return later that evening. Afterwards we stop at McDonalds for lunch and then head to Bannister to see Erma. Erma is 88 and basically has no idea why we are really there. She understands that someone is there to shampoo her carpet but that's about it. She did not know it involved something so expensive. She has someone else do her cleaning so she basically does not care what the Kirby can do. David still gives a full show so that I can learn and then tries to convince Erma to want to buy it. She does not care. Right around this point I was ready to quit. I did not want to be harassing old ladies to buy this stupid vacuum cleaner. I just wasn't built for this line of work. We get out of there with no sale and proceed to the next appointment. Richard and Judy own an older Kirby but it is broken. David rocks his show and basically convinces them to upgrade and trade in their older vacuum that probably only needed about 75 dollars in repairs. If you have a 95 Chevy chances are that you might want to trade it in for a 2005 Chevy. They choose to purchase the new Diamond. It has an optional handle that his G6 did not have. I get to witness how to close a deal and they become the new owners of the new Kirby. We welcome them to the Kirby family. Cool. We drive back up to Alma to see Aaron and his mom and they tell us that they cannot do the purchase at this time. That's fine. They were real nice people. We pack up and head back to town. David advises that I don't look at my paycheck at the end of the week but rather at the end of 30 days. I get home at 10pm, which I am told is a relatively late night for him.

Tuesday rolls around and I have my first Van experience. The “Van Master” Judy drives us 2 hours away to the town of Kalkaska. Ummm. Okay. I watch Robert do a show and basically learn that you can't sell a pig a bar of soap no matter how hard you try. I watch as Robert and Kristin try to knock their way into other doors. Around 7:15 I am asked if I want to give it a try and sure enough I knock my way into a house on my first attempt. I look back on it and now and think that a higher power was screwing with my head with me during this whole experience because every time I was about ready to say forget it, I was given a reason to continue. So anyway. Jeff and Mariesa were a very nice young couple who let me into their home to "show" the new Kirby to. Robert comes in to tell them it's my first show. He leaves. I think great, now they know I am a rookie. I had wanted to just act as if my first show was my 50th but now that my cover was blown I played into it as an advantage. They loved me and we had a lot of fun. Jeff loved that you can use it as an Air Compressor. I agreed. They were expecting in a few months and he thought it would be fun to paint the baby's room with the spray gun. I agreed. Judy comes in about halfway through the show and basically critiques me on a few things I was doing, stuff I of course picked up from David's shows, but were apparently wrong in her mind. She gives me a number to call when I am done and no further instructions. Thanks for the input and vote of confidence. I level with Jeff and Mariesa about how I think I have a handle on the situation and they thought it was funny. Mariesa's mom Melissa shows up. She actually owns a G6 but couldn't remember how the shampoo part worked so when I showed Jeff and Mariesa I made sure I also refreshed Melissa with it. They loved the way it made their carpet nice. I agreed. Judy comes in to close the sale when I am done and apparently I am not to say a word, which I didn't find out till later. I emphasize certain aspects that they liked and offer a few comments here and there while I am cleaning off the shampoo system part in the sink. When it comes down to whether or not they would like one and how they would pay for it and how much they could put down we are thrown a little bit of a curveball. Turns out that they are currently laid off which I did not know. During the first few minutes of the show when I was making a friend with them I asked about where they worked and what they did, but apparently I didn't ask enough questions regarding how much time a week they work, etc. Whatever. Judy looks at me and tells me to pack it up and I proceed. I do a few other things wrong by her book and get the rest of it all straightened out. We load up the van and prepare to head back to Mount Pleasant. It's now 10 PM and we don't get back until Midnight. Sara is of course pissed because I am unable to hardly spend any time with her. I'm not happy about the uncertainty and shadiness of the job but decide that I have to at least try and work long enough to earn a paycheck. I needed either a couple sales or 12 demos/shows. I now count 5.

Wednesday rolls around I accompany Kenley on a ride along. He has been doing this for 12 plus years so he has seen it all. He's a super nice guy but a little rough around the edges. I follow him in the van because he needs to drop his car off at his house. We kept driving really far down all these back roads. I didn't ask him how far it was but it sorta felt like he was taking me to the middle of nowhere. Eventually we get there and then we are on our way. We take off and show up in Parrington to a husband alone. They definitely can afford the Kirby because they both have good jobs but he is not going to move on it without his wife being home. We shampoo his rug and run through the demo and then depart. Kenley leaves a bomb in his toilet but Christopher makes a comment on the smell of the shampoo being nice. Meanwhile that's not what I smell. Anyway. No Luck. We bust out of there and head over to Mrs A's house in Alma. Upon driving up to the house we realize it's a crap hole. Crappy cars. etc.. So Kenley looks at me and says lets shampoo this rug and get the hell out of here. I agree. So we pop in the upright and start cleaning her carpet up to prepare to shampoo it. She basically wants to buy the thing so Kenley gives her a credit application. I continue vacuuming. She doesn't get very far in the credit ap and decides against it. Oh yeah, she also had no running water at the time because her pipes were frozen. We brought a gallon of water to do the shampooing and the cleanup. After making a pretty nasty carpet clean I find out how much fun it is to clean the shampooer part with less than a half a gallon of water. She has a pool table in the other room and Kenley makes a bet with her. If she wins she'll buy it for a thousand dollars. If Kenley wins she'll buy it for 1300. She has no comment with regards to actually playing the game. The game is never played. If she did end up buying the Kirby it would have been the most expensive possession in the house. After this we had no more appointments so it's time to do some knocking. I could barely contain my excitement. It was only about 4 o'clock so there was plenty of time left in the day. We try a few houses with no luck. Kenley goes over the door pitch with me. I try a few houses with no luck. Then we find a group of trailers that Kenley did not know about. He tries a house with no luck and then I try one. When I knocked on the door she said to come in which means that there is probably a good chance she'll give me a few minutes. I tell her what I am up to and she agrees to let me show her the new Kirby. It turns out that she actually owned a G4 model, which was about 10 years old. Her trailer is pretty clean but I show her how to use all the attachments and everything. Like I said she owned a Kirby so the place was pretty clean. Nancy was a very nice lady. She stated that she loved her Kirby but would not want to upgrade to the new one and have payments again. I said that was perfectly fine. I show her the shampooer and she really likes it. I finish and call Kenley for him to return. He comes in and lays it on thick. It wasn't like he was pressuring her to upgrade or anything. He was just being super nice to her. Anyway so she ends up buying the shampoo system for her current Kirby for $212 dollars and we are on our way. Not so fast! We go outside and it appears Kenley left the lights on inside the van so it does not start. Nancy is so nice and comes outside and we finagle her car to be able to give the van a jump. We drive back to Mount Pleasant and I get home for the earliest time of the week: 730. I've now been a part of 8 shows. 2 that I did on my own. I need 4 more.

Thursday rolls around and after the song and waiting around for another hour I find myself in route with Judy and Robert to Kalkaska again. But before we actually get going we stop by Kristin's house to pick her up for work. She decides not to come because they had to take care of some things that day. That's one thing I did not like at all about the people I worked with. They don't seem to understand that time is money and waiting around for an hour before actually leaving the office or making a half hour out of the way stop like this decreases the amount of time you should be out there selling. Sell! Sell! Sell! Enough farting around. This lazy mentality just doesn't sit well with me. Here I am spending all my time this week to try and earn some money yet everyone seems to take his or her sweet ass time. I'm sorry but the way my mind works is that it equates all time spent as earning money like as in an hourly wage or salary where you work whatever hours is needed to get the job done. My mind cannot handle the uncertainty of only being able to earn money buy selling vacuum cleaners (or whatever it is). That does not work for me. But anyway I need 4 more shows to earn a paycheck at least so I stick through and fall asleep on the way to Kalkaska. We get there and start knocking. Taking turns. Judy seemed to know all the good houses and somehow Robert was the one that got to knock on all those doors. I definitely felt as if she was trying to hook him up and just throw me bones. But whatever. Robert gets a bunch of comebacks where at a couple houses the wife wasn't home so they asked him to comeback. I didn't have much luck knocking in. Judy tries helping me a few times to get in and then finally I am able to get into this one house. They had a bunch of pets so there was a stain in the middle of their carpet that they said I could try and take out. Lori and Jerry were a very nice couple. They said that they were going somewhere so I had to do it all as fast as I could. I was glad they gave me some time to at least get in and do a show. Their daughter was very nice. She was deaf. She recently got an implant in her ear that allows her to be able to actually hear some things so as Lori was explaining to me she can now finally hear her own voice. So she cries and yells a lot and makes a lot of other noises because it’s all new to her. That was okay I made her smile a bunch of times and I also learned a few new sign languages for 'clean' and 'nice room'. It was a lot of fun. I somehow managed to get in everything and show them everything in the short amount of time that I had. They ask me to speed it up and I do. I vacuum as much as I can before getting ready to shampoo. It's important to deep clean the carpets as much as possible before shampooing because otherwise it just makes a bigger mess. I start shampooing and it makes the carpet look slick and doesn't completely remove the cat pee stain but makes it a lot better. Excellent. I page Judy and she comes in. They wanted to buy it but didn't have the time because their daughter was going to go to archery with her granddad. We got Jerry's phone number and Judy gave him her card and we planned to talk with them tomorrow about investing in the Kirby for their home. Everything sounded positive. I said thank you for allowing me into their home and to get my credit to do the show. I kind of screwed up their dinner timing but oh well. Actually getting into a home and talking with people and making them smile makes me happy and that part of the job I liked for the most part. I did not enjoy the knocking on doors and bothering people at home aspect of the job. Did you wake up today and even think that you would buy an 1800 vacuum cleaner? I didn't think so. So I try knocking on a few more doors without any luck. Robert finally got into a house around quarter after six. We try a few more houses without luck. Judy then asks me if I want to continue trying doors or if I would like to get home early because my girlfriend has hardly seen me this week. I say I'd like to get home early and appreciated that she asked me. We sit in the van in a parking lot and go over a few other things and talk about stuff for a while as we are waiting for Robert to finish up. We drive past the house a few times and it looks like everything is going well. Robert finally pages her and Judy goes into the house while I waited in the van at about 8:30. I talk to Sara on the phone and say that I should be getting home early but it's already 8:30 and it's a two-hour drive. I can barely tell what's going on inside the house. Finally about an hour later Robert and Judy come outside with the Kirby. No luck. So now it's 9:30 and we are heading home. What about it being an early night? She even mentioned something to me with regards to people in her van quitting because of how late they get home and how mad their wives and girlfriends get because of that. I laughed and thought that sounded very familiar. I sing on the way home to all the songs on the radio and feel that I had a productive day even though I only got 1 show in. I now have a grand total of 9 shows, which means I need 3 more in two days. This sounds very possible. Add to that the still possible sale with Lori and Jerry and that would make for a pretty nice week. I'm feeling very positive.

I go to work Friday feeling very positive. Hopefully the potential sale from the day before will go through but you never know. I can't just put it in my back pocket and assume it will go through until it actually does. I think okay. If I can get my 3 shows in today I won't have to work Saturday. We actually bust out of the office in a somewhat timely fashion. Kristin is with us. We get to Kalkaska around 1 o’clock. That's another thing. Even though we got there relatively early, the morning meeting begins at 9 in the morning and to me that's when my workday starts. Why is it that the actual work for the day doesn't begin until 1 or 2 in the afternoon? Well… I understand why but it still makes it annoying. Kristin and Robert try to knock into a few doors. Judy tries to call Jerry but he does not answer. She leaves a message on his phone. Now it's my turn to knock. I try with no luck. This continues for a couple hours until Kristin finally gets into a house. Robert and I continue trying. Jerry never calls back. He said he had to work but he wasn't sure when exactly he would be done. He said he should be available in the afternoon but wasn't 100% positive. Before we left their house yesterday he explicitly said they he would like to buy one but didn’t have time tonight. He wasn’t the type of person that would lie, but rather the type of person that you would believe in his word. But now, talking to Jerry today doesn't feel so likely to happen. We pick up Kristin because the people she was with said they had to go somewhere. Or so they say. We continue trying houses without much luck. Robert's comebacks don't pan out. We decide to leave Kalkaska around 530 and head back towards Grayling to hit some of those neighborhoods. Kristin gets into a house where you could see a ton of aquariums. Judy helps me get into this one house and they were very nice but they bought a Kirby a few years ago and were upset because the people they bought it from basically voided their warranty after replacing a power cord which is total bologna. They aren't interested in looking at the new one even at a steal price which is fine so Judy writes down the serial number of the one they had and promises to look into it to find out where who ever they bought it from went wrong. Oh by the way, here is the door pitch I was supposed to be using. It involves handing them this product called Forever Fresh, which is basically like baking soda that you put in your fridge to keep vegetables and cheese fresh. Like I said it's basically baking soda but with a colorful box. Anyway here it is cause I had to practice it about 20 times that day in the van. "Hello my name is Brian (shake hand). Are you the queen of the castle? (wait for acknowledgement and hand them the this Forever Fresh stuff) GREAT! This is for you. I am from a company called [i'll leave this out] out of Mount Pleasant. We are going to be opening up a store in Traverse City and we are basically out doing a little bit of advertising in the area. I get credit to give you that to take a look at a few things we will be carrying in our store. I'll be right back". So in other words you are taught to basically lie your way into the house. Or rather, not exactly lie, but mislead. They don't want you to say that it is Kirby at the door because people already know that that means. Anyway I hated this part and after knocking on at least 15 doors that day and not getting into any of them I didn't feel too positive. Robert finally got into a house around 8 o’clock. Judy and I drove around and waited until she would receive a page. Kristin finally paged and it took Judy forever to go and finish. They didn't buy. We go back to pick up Robert and I guess he had a not so pleasant experience involving a dude who passed out from drinking and a girl who more or less said she was going to hang herself with 4 feet of rope. I was glad that I wasn't in that house. Judy asked if I was working the next day and I told her that I had to get my shows in. I still needed 3 more shows. As a van we had no sales in the past two days ending a streak of continuous sales for Judy. Robert was stressed out. Kristin was really cool and it turned out that we had some pretty similar interests in music. We get back to town and I get home by midnight.

I wake up Saturday with full intention of giving my day to Kirby so that I could get my three shows in order to earn a paycheck. I drive over to the office at 9 because I like to be on time. However, no one else likes to be on time apparently. I get there and no one else is there except the main guy who runs the office. I hesitate on going in and sit in my car and eat the cereal I didn't eat at home because in my mind I was running behind. Yeah. No. I sit in my car eating the cereal. I think. I think. I say to myself that I really don't want to spend all day Saturday doing this. I figure if I go in there, then that's it. My day is over. Before I left I was talking to Sara about how I just wanted to earn a paycheck and that would be it. I needed 3 more shows to get my money and that's all I knew. Frustration. So anyway. I sat in my car and called Sara. I basically told her that I was going to say, "Fuck this" and I was on my way home. She was going to be leaving in a few hours to go back to the trapping site but at least I would be able to spend some time with her. (Sorry about the swearing but that's as clean as I can make my thoughts at the time -- even though they weren't any harsher) I went home and paced around a bit reassuring myself that it was the right decision. There was no doubting it. I was only pissed that I spent the entire week giving them my time and I wasn't going to earn a nickel for my efforts. Even if they were going to give me the money for selling the shampoo system it was still only 20 bucks. I walked around and talked about how much I hated the experience to Sara and pacing and pacing. I like to pace. It helps. It's better that than biting my nails. So Sara finally goes on her way and I call my parents. I talk to my mom and tell her what I decided. I started typing this story and got pissed off. I gave it a rest. I called my dad and told him about it all cause he was off doing errands when I talked with my mom and then I talk to my sister for about 40 minutes. I now had a newfound desire to find a different job. There was no shortage of fuel for my fire to get out there and find something. Working at Kirby is what you get when you don't try hard enough to land a job. By the way, I ignored when my phone rang two separate times around 10:30. Obviously they were trying to get a hold of me to find out where I was. At no point on Friday did I give anyone any impression that it was my last day (last stand). I had no impression that it was my last day. I gave the full impression that I would see them the next day and we would go out and sell some Kirbys. After I was done on the phone I decided it was a good time to go and give them the news. I wanted to do it in person and get it over with plus I had to return my silly demo kit anyway. I went but they were closed early for the day. For the rest of the weekend I talked to a few other people on the phone for a long extended time because I felt really talkative. At no point did I reconsider my decision and I let all the Kirby knowledge in my head fizzle out faster than it came in. It felt good to cleanse my head of all that. It wasn't all that bad. It is a good product. Slightly overpriced, sure. If you are privileged enough to receive a demo/show and like what you see, tell them you don't want to buy it and they'll end up knocking at least 500 bucks off the price. I still was not sure if I was going to get paid for any of the time but I knew that if I wasn't going to, I had at the very least gained some pretty good people skills from the experience. It was nice to meet some nice people during the course of the week. I didn’t appreciate putting on such a big charade only to probably end up getting lied to anyway. I felt much more comfortable talking to strangers and this experience re-enforced how important it is to get strangers to smile to have better experiences. On Wednesday night when Sara and I went out to eat we were treated superiorly because of how super nice I was to the waitress. So I was happy with the decision but still had to finalize it.

On Monday I woke up early and went out on the job prowl. I submitted my information to the temp place and their deal is that you show up, sign in, and then wait to be sent out on assignment. I haven't gone back yet because I want to try all avenues before making a routine to show up and be sent out to odd jobs. I went to the casino and applied for three different jobs (bingo floor worker, cashier food and beverage, and pm housekeeping room attendant). I asked about follow up and they said in a week. They release new jobs every Tuesday and Thursday so I am going to try and get there at least twice a week and apply for all sorts of jobs until I get my foot in the door. I went to Meijer and filled out another application and submitted it. I went to Walmart and asked to speak to someone from human resources because I had already applied. They said they weren't hiring until March. I went to Target and filled out another application and was told they weren't hiring until April. I went to Kroger and applied and they said they weren't currently hiring. I felt like I made a dent. I went to the Kirby place and talked to the main boss. He basically tried to coerce me into staying and to give it another week. He said that I have the personality to do the job, which I know I do. I told him that I did not have the heart for this kind of work. I thanked him for the opportunity but that it just wasn't for me. He said that he saw me outside on Saturday morning and asked me what happened. He said he saw me, went to the bank, came back, and I was gone. He asked what happened to me. I left that one unanswered. Ha! He said that if I ever wanted to come back that I could. I said thank you and was on my way. I would never go back but didn't want to tell him that. He's a nice guy and I'm sure some of that was trying to sell me into continuing to give him some of my time. I didn't want to push the issue of 20 bucks. Perhaps I should have but it seemed more trouble than it was worth. So in other words this is the week that was stolen from my life. The END

Employ me.