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To Gig or Not To Gig?

Alright so I started writing this a few weeks ago, I guess it's about time I revisit it so I can just dump it out of my internal brain queue.... Editor Note- This was written over the course of several weeks...

Today in 2bs.com class we will learn what Patrick really means when he says, "Sorry I have a gig that day".

So let's first examine all the definitions to try and find what he means by this.

Gig as a Noun can mean any of the following
~A two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage.
~A forked spear for catching fish, frogs, or other small animals.
~A performing engagement by a musical group.
~Any temporary job.
~A six-oared sea rowing boat commonly found in Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly.

And in turn, To Gig as a Verb can mean
~To catch with a gig.
~To engage in musical performances.
~To make fun of; to make a joke at someone's expense, often condescending.

So basically we could take that and make the following determinations based upon these definitions:

1- A gig is a two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage. Okay, maybe Patrick enjoys using a two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage to perform various tasks around his apartment. Let's think about that. I don't remember him saying anything about owning horses, carriages, or for that matter any two wheeled implements. But before we toss that idea out let's further discuss the possibilities. Maybe he does have a horse. He does come from Vermont and its common knowledge than anyone from Jericho could potentially own a horse. What about a carriage? Maybe his parents have one in their barn. I assume he does not have a carriage parked on the side of South Ave but you never know. So maybe when he says he has a gig, he's purchased a new two-wheeled horse-drawn carriage to drive around and he's gotta go service it or something. I'd say there’s probably a 25 percent chance this is what he means when he says he has a gig. Great, you have a gig.

2- A gig is a forked spear for catching fish, frogs, or other small animals. Fish, frogs, and other small animals you say. Come to think about it, he does eat some pretty strange things for lunch and he does have an unhealthy fascination for fish. I don't remember looking close enough to notice frog legs, fish eggs, rabbits, or anything else like that on his lunch plate. But then again, he is strange so we can't completely rule this possibility out. I've got a gig that day. So what? He has plans to take his gig out and go spear some fish frogs? This could very well be true. I'd say about a 20 percent chance on this as well.

3- A gig is a performing engagement by a musical group. Is Patrick in a boy band? He has lived in both LA and NYC for a year or so each. Maybe when he was out in LA he formed this boy band and it has continued to this day, but now they only studio record? Hmm. I guess I will have to ask him to sing a sample later to see if he has the voice. Then again, maybe he just lip synchs. Who knows? He does use a lot of hair gel, so taking that into consideration there's probably about a 10 percent chance this is what he is referring to when he says he has a gig.

4- A gig is any temporary job. Any temporary job? Well that could be very loosely interpreted. By job do they infer that there is some sort of payment for services. Possible. So if he, for example, shoveled someone's driveway and then got paid for it, would that constitute a gig? Okay, I've looked up the definition for job and although one definition does refer to monetary gain from work performed it says that is not necessarily a requirement but also adds that plastic surgery like a nose job for example is another type of job. So does he have like temporary tattoos that in a round about way he refers to as a gig. Like, when he has a gig.. does that mean he is going to apply some temp tats? Or maybe botox or something like that? Hmm.. This definition is so open ended I am going to have to say there is another 25 percent chance that this is it.

5- A gig is a six-oared sea rowing boat. So by this definition, he is merely just announcing and reminding us that he has a rowing boat in his garage or something. Maybe he is reminding us or assuming we understand that this is what he is referring to since there are six oars and he would need help to take it out on the waters. Hmm, this could be it right here. Though, I think by now I would have heard him talking about sailing or boating or something so I don't know. I can't rule it out and I think it's a little more likely than the boy-band idea, so I am going to go with a 20 percent chance on this.

Okay now we will examine the verb possibilities. Many of these determinations are simply applying an action view of the above so it will sound repetitive, but I think the investigation is warranted to hopefully shed any possible light left unlit. Since he usually says, "I have a gig", I assume that he is referring to an actual item, but I suppose it could very well be possible that he could be referring to an action yet to take place. Perhaps when he first started announcing this gig thing he would say something like, "I am going to be gigging tonight", but then people thought he might have said giggling so it got out of control and he shortened it. I guess it isn't fair to speculate like that but that is the whole point of this discussion, I simply just want answers... Okay. so..

A. To gig is to catch with a gig - This relates to number 2 up in the noun possibilities. That's a lot to swallow right there. So when he goes out to catch fish frogs he takes his gig with him and then his gig is to catch with a gig. Wow.. Maybe!

B. To gig is to engage in musical performance. I think we covered this pretty extensively in number 3 up there. To do this he would have to have some musical talent and although I haven't heard him sing yet.. I can't completely determine if this is it or not. Google searching relents no pictures of him in a boy band but he could have used a pseudonym I suppose.

C. To gig is to make fun of; to make a joke at someone's expense, often condescending. Wow you know what. Maybe I should have just jumped right to this one. I think this is it. He does this all the time. Actually, when he says "I have a gig", he's even doing it. He's making fun of the fact that he says he has a gig by gigging. Holy crap. It's like he is saying I am making fun of you, by making fun of himself? Maybe that's too deep a way of looking at it. But I think I have my answer. Patrick, by gigging, and saying he has a gig, is making fun of the fact that he has a gig. I might have to think about this a little more to be sure but I think I've solved my own riddle.

In the end you should feel free to come to your own conclusion. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves before coming to your own conclusion, but lets meet again in a few days to give our final determination. Patrick is currently more concerned with figuring out who would make the best fight matchups right now to be concerned with determining the results here supplied.

Here is a simple questionnaire that will lead us to an eventual answer:

Patrick
Do you own a horse-drawn carriage? If so, how many wheels does it have?
Have you ever used a spear to catch Fish Frogs?
Have you ever gotten a nose job? Do you botox?
Have you ever sang in a boy band? If so, describe
Do you own a rowing boat? Why haven't you asked us to join?
What do you mean when you say, "I have a gig"?

Thanks for joining us and now if you could please shed your own thoughts on this topic that would benefit us all.